Jasper Speaks: equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"> name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"> name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"> name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11">
We had a great time of fellowship and planning recent;y with the SMT (Student Ministry Team). For a while we have felt that God was calling us to move toward a more intentionally discipleship driven ministry. It has been a burden of our leadership team to create a ministry that helped student live out their faith with more consistency. We felt the need to move toward a clear process of ministry. We want our mission serving Jesus and make quality followers of Christ as He commanded us to do in the Great Commission to be clear.
With that in mind we have narrowed our purpose down to three words:
Connect
Grow
Go
We know that one purpose of our group is to CONNECT students to God and each other. The open door to our ministry is our Wednesday night REALITY CHECK/REAL TIME event. Here junior and senior high students can come to a night of fellowship, worship and Bible study. We want to make this event one in which current students are challenged in their faith whilst feeling that they can invite their friends to a non-threatening place to hear about the love of Jesus. We also will continue with intentional fellowship events that will lead students to a greater level of accountability and friendship.
Next we want to encourage our students to GROW in their relationship with Jesus. This growth will be greatly fostered by our REAL LIFE SMALL GROUPS. In these groups students will have the chance to study the Bible while building accountability relationships with leaders and other students. We are excited at the many opportunities we have for small groups including: Sunday Morning Bible Study, Trek for junior highers, Journey for senior higher (both offered on Sunday evenings at 5:15PM) Real Time for junior highers on Wednesday nights, and our Senior High Girls Midweek Group meeting at the Ferguson home on Tuesdays at 6:30PM as well as our Senior High Guys Midweek Group meeting at the Behan home on Thursdays 6:30PM. We are praying that these groups will also each embrace a mission endeavor in which they will partner and serve together.
Finally, we want our students to GO. The mission endeavors for the small groups will be the ongoing mission emphasis of our group and we pray that along with full group mission events (like our summer mission trips) students will gain a greater burden to serve the world for Christ. We want, however, for our students to also GO into their own world every day and live for Christ. We want to encourage them to missional living where they are, sharing their love for Christ with those around them every day. We want them to be authentic in their faith and we pray that connecting and growing will lead to a natural going.
There is so much going on in our student ministry and I am excited to see what God has in store for us in the upcoming school year. It is amazing that He uses any of us and it is great to see that there is a simple, easy to understand process in place to help our students grow in their relationship with Christ.
Two years ago my life changed ... completely. On March 19, 2007, God gave me a son. Jackson came to live with us permanently on that day. In just two years he has become the center of our world. I am so proud of how smart he is. At two and three quarters he knows his alphabet, can count almost to twenty, knows his colors and can make a gazillion animal sounds.
He has taught me so much about love. I know I cannot fathom the Father's love for us, but when I think about how much I love my son, I get a small glimpse of how deep that love is. I cannot imagine giving my son to die for someone else. It is something I could never do. When I look into his big brown eyes, my heart melts. How could you ever give that away? It is crazy to think that my love for him is only a tiny fraction of God's love for me.
I remember so much about the past two years. I remember how excited I was when he first came. I remember waiting for him to crawl and being so excited when he did. I can remember longing for that first conversation and being overwhelmed when it came (even though I am fairly sure it was about Curious George or something deep like that). Our first family vacation and watching him giggle in glee as we rode the tractor and the train.
There are so many things I love about being Jackson's daddy. I love to hear him belly laugh. I cannot help but join in. I love to hear him say "Hi Daddy!" when I get him up in the mornings. I love the times he insists that I read to him. I love the rare times he quietly crawls into my lap and cuddles while sucking his ever comforting finger. I love how excited he gets on Sunday mornings when he first sees me after church. I love his high pitched neigh when we ask him what sound a horse (his favorite animal) makes. Mostly, I love him. I am humbled God chose me to be his example.
So, Two years ago we had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. We had no idea that a little boy was going to capture our hearts and steal them away forever. We didn't know that family would become the most important part of all we do. We had no idea how much this beautiful, funny, sweet, smart little creature would change our lives. We had no idea how unworthy of this showing of God's grace to us we really were.Today, as I hold Jackson in my arms, I hope I have a moment when I can remember what seems almost impossible to recall. Life without him. In that moment I pray that I will appreciate today and the gift it, and my beautiful baby boy are. May the years go by slowly and may I let each day simmer in my heart as I watch this beautiful gift grow into a wonderful man of God.
It has been awhile since I have had a chance to blog. I am feeling like I have 1,000 irons in the fire. Kendra is in Houston until tomorrow night. I am a single dad. Fun. Actually my sister is coming to spend the night tonight. She needs a break and I need friends. We will eat bad food and watch good movies. That should be nice. I have missed her lately.
I have pretty much decided that seminary is not for me right now. I have so much to do and it just gets in the way. The seminary has not been great with communication and with its professionalism. It has been REALLY bad. Really. Maybe another place would be better. Also, I have such bad A.D.D and I really need a classroom with accountability, The one I am taking is online and it kinda stinks. It may be different somewhere else but I pretty much hate it. UG!
Our DiscipleNow was incredible. God always seems ot take my goofy and not greatly prepared ways and saves the day. I try to be organized and usually do so pretty well. I like to get my little duckies in their row. I think God still uses me in spite of myself. Saturday night was again the highlight for me this year. I was humbled as I watched God break kids and watched them caring for each other.
The question becomes, what is next? How do we sustain this? I want to do well in the eyes of God. I also want to produce students that are not just moving from one event to another. I think some kids are doing well there others need help. I am struggling to figure out the best way to get that done. I am relying on Christ to lead us in the best way.
Anyway, here are some of the shots I like best from the weekend!
Good Looking guys! Bobbing for Hohos in Milk! YUM! Derrick wins find the object in the cake game! We are cute and I miss her a lot today!
I know that it has been a long time since I have posted. It seems like things get crazy busy and I don't get a chance to write out my thoughts. Even lately when I have had the time I have not had the motivation. But here I am. It is a crazy, snowy night. I began this entry because yesterday was the one year anniversary of the death of my mother. It causes pause for reflection for sure. For one year I have been a Mama's boy without a Mama. It still hurts everyday at some point. As recently as today, I started to call her when I wanted to talk about something. That feeling is the worst.
Kendra comforted me by reminding me that a year anniversary can also be a bit of relief. It means that you have survived all the major events once. I have had an Easter without a mother. I have seen my son have a birthday without his grandma. I have gotten a wonderful job without being able to share the joy with my mom. I have had my own birthday without hearing my mother tell me she loves me. I have giving thanks for a bountiful year without her. I have gathered with my family at Christmas without she who was our emotional and spiritual center. And ... I ... have ... survived. None of those things was easy. Yet the firsts are now in my past.
I have shed many tears over the past year. The hole that was placed in my heart on January 26, 2008 is still as empty today. But you do get through. You get on with life. Maybe that is one of the hardest parts to this process. The fact that life goes on. No one at work acknowledged the anniversary. There was nothing about it on the morning TV shows announcing that a long year had passed. There was nothing different in the world because she was gone. Nothing for anyone but my family. It is sometimes hard to see that life goes on.
After a year I have had a chance to reflect on many of the things that my mother taught me. I am who I am because of her love, guidance and spiritual witness. I pray that even though he will not remember her, that Jackson will reflect her love and personality as well. That is what is so comforting. I don't buy into all that "they are still with us" stuff. Still, as her parents passed on to her so many things that made her the wonderful person she was, she passed things on to me, and I pray I will pass those things on to my son. So I guess in someways, she continues on here as well. I mean nothing hocus pocus about that, I just find comfort in knowing that I can pass on who she was even after she has gone.
On Saturday, Kendra, Jackson and I went to her grave. I told Jackson that the stone was above where his Grandma was now. I know she isn't there but how do you explain a graveyard to a two year old. I told him that she loved him very much (her last audible words were "Bye bye sweetheart" to him the night before she died). I nearly lost it when he reached out to the stone and said, "Hi Grandma". It breaks my heart that he will never really know how much she loved him.
Do you ever wonder why things have to be like this? I have not had even one moment of questioning my faith in all of this. God is who He claims to be and is still working out His plan everyday. Still, I wish she was here. I wish Jackson could know her. It will get easier (and even now it has already).
I am comfortable with knowing that I am a living legacy of Donna Rains. I pray that I can live up to that calling. I am blessed to have had her impact my life for 38 years. I am still blessed by that impact and will be forever. Life is hard but God is good. Thank you Mom for leading me to Christ and for being the best example of Him I may ever see in the flesh. I love you.
Blog Disclaimer:
I serve on the ministerial staff of Parkway Baptist Church. Everything here is my personal opinion and is not read or approved in advance. The views expressed are my own and not necessarily those of Parkway Baptist Church leadership or its membership.
